Life is beautiful. Life is tragic and I've recently heard it said that life is stronger than death. This statement is strong and furious in many ways, it can bring out the courage that we thought we never had.
Life is also what we make of it. These words used to really angry because the times when I'd screw up the worst. That the rest of life is screwed up, or might be. When I didn't know that there was indeed more to life than depression and hate.
Everyday to me would be the same. Until some one or something brought so light into my day, or the moment I was in. Then the rest of my day would pan off of that one singular moment.
And if we are to be honest, this is what life is like for a very vast majority of us. Moments can make or break our days. Its true and you know it. Yesterday my parents took me to meet this guy named Jay who my parents bought my new awesome bike from.
When my eyes locked on Jay something about him really captured my heart. As we walked into his very small home. Bike parts filled nearly his entire home, along with a massive amount of old records.
Jay kept making subtle hints that he is a cook at a convent. (I think maybe he wanted us to know he was Catholic and that maybe he loved the same Jesus as I did.) But in time Jay confided to my family and I that was very much visual impaired.
He had applied for some type of coverage and he kept getting denied. (I know this all to well) So my heart began to really extend to Jay. He even plays in a Jazz band and plays guitar. That was a bonus.
Jay had me sit down on what I now call "Turbo" my new three wheel bike. I loved it. It felt right to me, Jay would get close to me to see how big my feet were for the toe clips, which hold my feet in place. As he did this, his breathed smelled of beer.
As I was sitting there on my bike, the word that came to mind was grace. As he made frequent trips from his basement to the living room in which I sat adjusting my toe clips. He told us about how the Nuns would say "Jay, even though you have a very hard time seeing already, at least you have some of your vision".
Which is true without a doubt. Its a very simple, and not very profound at all. But here is a man that works hard at a honest living, preparing bikes for people like me that very rarely ever get to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, much less on a bike.
Jay is giving me and others a chance at life and freedom. And I am so thankful for all he is doing. I know God loves him and wants to hug him and meet his needs. Jay is God's and God is his.
He also confided in us that just a few days ago, he had lost his farther. And this where I was reminded of the words of Shane Claiborne: "Life is stronger than death". Which I'll probably get tattooed on my other arm in the distant future.
Jay has inspired me in ways he will never ever know. Life is indeed stronger than death my friends. We just have to get over ourselves, in the fact that we hide our hearts and stories from the world because we are afraid of people seeing us as we really are.
When we can stand on our own to feet, with our heads held high. And know that we are beautiful regardless of the path that rests behind us. This is a life that can never get old, it can never get old. Because we are alive and today is what we live for. And death, is when we know we have lived a life that will be remembered forever.
Grace and Peace.
-Brandon The Writer
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What does your life speak?
I've often wondered about the way my life speaks. For example in everyday life, do people see me as someone they'd like to invest time in? Am I honest enough with people that I meet? Do I talk to much? Do I care enough?
This is just a small list of what I've been asking myself as of late. I've reflecting on my life, my actions and I wonder what they say to the world around me. This is a very tough subject because it requires to look within ourselves and ask honest questions.
Often we reflect we tend to notice the small things, that we tend to ignore. We never really let ourselves make eye contact with anyone for more than a spit second, are eyes re direct to the ground or the nearest thing to us.
And this is true is it not?
I mean what would happen if we actually allowed ourselves to make eye contact with someone, and not be afraid to smile... or if the person has some form of birth defect on their face, could not honestly look at this person as a human being , instead of pretending to look at them, when really were looking past them?
I've found that before we can even think about honestly caring about the world we live in, we have got to start with ourselves. Because you cannot. lead people to having a hope that does not exist in your own life.
I realize that this may seem difficult. But thats because nothing that truly leads us to the freedom to live our lives. Never comes easy.. It requires sacrifice, change, brutal honest with ourselves and the people around us. And to tell you the honest to god truth, for most people I believe this will never happen in one life time because, we are often afraid to do the work of sorta through the pain.
This is just a small list of what I've been asking myself as of late. I've reflecting on my life, my actions and I wonder what they say to the world around me. This is a very tough subject because it requires to look within ourselves and ask honest questions.
Often we reflect we tend to notice the small things, that we tend to ignore. We never really let ourselves make eye contact with anyone for more than a spit second, are eyes re direct to the ground or the nearest thing to us.
And this is true is it not?
I mean what would happen if we actually allowed ourselves to make eye contact with someone, and not be afraid to smile... or if the person has some form of birth defect on their face, could not honestly look at this person as a human being , instead of pretending to look at them, when really were looking past them?
I've found that before we can even think about honestly caring about the world we live in, we have got to start with ourselves. Because you cannot. lead people to having a hope that does not exist in your own life.
I realize that this may seem difficult. But thats because nothing that truly leads us to the freedom to live our lives. Never comes easy.. It requires sacrifice, change, brutal honest with ourselves and the people around us. And to tell you the honest to god truth, for most people I believe this will never happen in one life time because, we are often afraid to do the work of sorta through the pain.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Jump
Jump
Life is scary sometimes, and in times like this I choose to be as honest as possible. In times like these I get so annoyed with being a "Christian" because of all the cliche statements and set responses people tend to give off.
I’ve often ask myself: what does it mean to be a human? An the answer is being able to admit when fear is tapping at my chamber door. The cliche no longer works for me, the pretty spiritual life no longer works for me either.
Life is hard. Its dirty and ugly sometimes. Whens the last time you have ever watched people walking out of a local store? I mean have you seen the looks on peoples faces? Its as though life is stringing them up by the neck and hanging them, just based off of a facial expression.
Sure, one could be in deep reflection. But what about the ones who even when they try to understand the pain of life, often feel let down and confused and left with more questions?
What about the ones who just can’t seem to sleep at night because they’re afraid of being alone? You know what I call this my friends? Life. Its life at its rawest form for some.
People living from pay check to pay check, people with that lingering fear that life as they know will forever be the way it is. In other words despair is all they know. The fear is so controlling that we as humans know no better then to let the fear consume and direct our lives.
I have found that when I am scared the most, the only thing I can do is jump. Not so much literally (Because I simply cannot) but more so in metaphor. I have to jump into the Un- known and risk failure. I have to jump into my deepest darkest fears.
And this is scary. Because when life is at its darkest point in your life. You have a choice to jump back into the see of despair. Or we can jump forward into the sea of the Un Known where you knows what we might find.
Perhaps you’ll find that maybe all the despair has lead you to point in where you truly know just how much you can take. Or maybe you find the strength to explore the pain and where in stems from, maybe what we jump into is freedom and we just do not know it.
To me there is the kind of fear where you are getting ready to take that first step, and then there is the fear where you can’t and don’t want to move forward and jump and dig because you, are actually comfortable where you are... And that should scare the living crap out of you!
Because when we reach that point, it takes a group of people to pull you out of where your at. And often you don’t even want to be pulled out, but because someone else has eyes to see the good, beautiful potential in you, they pull you out wether or not you want it or not.
I have to jump. When I can’t feel that sweet shalom of yahweh I jump. When everything in life sucks and I don’t want to go on anymore. I jump. On a end note, people often don’t jump simply because they cannot see anything more than the pain.
That God and bible are just a way to cover up the pain. But I beg you to start leaping a jumping with me, beyond the cliche and beyond what we already know. Jump. Jump with me. Lets discover life and beauty and hope and faith together.
-Brandon
Life is scary sometimes, and in times like this I choose to be as honest as possible. In times like these I get so annoyed with being a "Christian" because of all the cliche statements and set responses people tend to give off.
I’ve often ask myself: what does it mean to be a human? An the answer is being able to admit when fear is tapping at my chamber door. The cliche no longer works for me, the pretty spiritual life no longer works for me either.
Life is hard. Its dirty and ugly sometimes. Whens the last time you have ever watched people walking out of a local store? I mean have you seen the looks on peoples faces? Its as though life is stringing them up by the neck and hanging them, just based off of a facial expression.
Sure, one could be in deep reflection. But what about the ones who even when they try to understand the pain of life, often feel let down and confused and left with more questions?
What about the ones who just can’t seem to sleep at night because they’re afraid of being alone? You know what I call this my friends? Life. Its life at its rawest form for some.
People living from pay check to pay check, people with that lingering fear that life as they know will forever be the way it is. In other words despair is all they know. The fear is so controlling that we as humans know no better then to let the fear consume and direct our lives.
I have found that when I am scared the most, the only thing I can do is jump. Not so much literally (Because I simply cannot) but more so in metaphor. I have to jump into the Un- known and risk failure. I have to jump into my deepest darkest fears.
And this is scary. Because when life is at its darkest point in your life. You have a choice to jump back into the see of despair. Or we can jump forward into the sea of the Un Known where you knows what we might find.
Perhaps you’ll find that maybe all the despair has lead you to point in where you truly know just how much you can take. Or maybe you find the strength to explore the pain and where in stems from, maybe what we jump into is freedom and we just do not know it.
To me there is the kind of fear where you are getting ready to take that first step, and then there is the fear where you can’t and don’t want to move forward and jump and dig because you, are actually comfortable where you are... And that should scare the living crap out of you!
Because when we reach that point, it takes a group of people to pull you out of where your at. And often you don’t even want to be pulled out, but because someone else has eyes to see the good, beautiful potential in you, they pull you out wether or not you want it or not.
I have to jump. When I can’t feel that sweet shalom of yahweh I jump. When everything in life sucks and I don’t want to go on anymore. I jump. On a end note, people often don’t jump simply because they cannot see anything more than the pain.
That God and bible are just a way to cover up the pain. But I beg you to start leaping a jumping with me, beyond the cliche and beyond what we already know. Jump. Jump with me. Lets discover life and beauty and hope and faith together.
-Brandon
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why Suffer?
Why Suffer?
I have been thinking about suffering a lot. Its something that I think is constant and is always happening around the world. When someone is having a great day, somebody else is struggle to keep their head above... But its not just about keeping your head above water is it?
Its always about something more, its those moments that are so dear to us that keep alive. But if all we have are mere moments and hopes than what are we hoping for. If a starving mom in Africa fights everyday to provide for her children while HIV medicine kicks the living crap out of her body, and all she gets is a loving kiss from her husband is that enough to ease her suffering? If she finds wonder in the stars, could it be that there is really beauty in suffering?
The key word is. In. Suffering is something so many people run from, and suffering does not have to be extreme for it to be suffering. It could the fact that one has spent most of their days alone and its quickly become all he or she knows?
Suffering can be being paranoid that everyone hates you and thinks you are a failure. A vast majority of society thinks and lives like this, but non the less it is in fact, suffering. So why she we even continue to try and keep going on with life, getting out of bed every morning, doing the same old thing hoping that something changes.
If you are the praying type, maybe your asking yourself... "Why in the world am I wasting my time, talking to some god who I barely believe is real any way?" Nothing seems to get better.
My new hero is a 24 year old man named Nick Vujicic, he was born with no limbs. And he goes around the world speaking sometimes six times a day telling people: "God will pull you through!, you think I have the worst condition? The worst condition I ever had was fear."
The man is stunning, and I hope to meet him someday and give him a hug. I think all of us always need a new perspective on suffering, and far beyond what we already know. For me its knowing that I have friends who will bring me books to read, when they have no idea I wanted a new book to read in the first place. Its a reminder that my best friend once brought me his entire music collection to listen to.
Its the red wristband that is on my wrist, that God is pulling me through and comforting and speaking and joining me in the hurt. And know matter what happens to me, life cannot kill my heart, my soul, my drive and desire.
I writer by the name of paul once spent a lot of time in prison, he was mocked, beat, spit on and cussed at... But yet... Yet he wrote letters to his friends. Letting them know about eternal things like love, grace and peace. He writes.
And I write in rooms illuminated by light, and even when life beats the living hell out of me. I know people are praying for me, that the darkness will not last. That some how some way, my God will bring something good from suffering.
Why do you choose to suffer?
I have been thinking about suffering a lot. Its something that I think is constant and is always happening around the world. When someone is having a great day, somebody else is struggle to keep their head above... But its not just about keeping your head above water is it?
Its always about something more, its those moments that are so dear to us that keep alive. But if all we have are mere moments and hopes than what are we hoping for. If a starving mom in Africa fights everyday to provide for her children while HIV medicine kicks the living crap out of her body, and all she gets is a loving kiss from her husband is that enough to ease her suffering? If she finds wonder in the stars, could it be that there is really beauty in suffering?
The key word is. In. Suffering is something so many people run from, and suffering does not have to be extreme for it to be suffering. It could the fact that one has spent most of their days alone and its quickly become all he or she knows?
Suffering can be being paranoid that everyone hates you and thinks you are a failure. A vast majority of society thinks and lives like this, but non the less it is in fact, suffering. So why she we even continue to try and keep going on with life, getting out of bed every morning, doing the same old thing hoping that something changes.
If you are the praying type, maybe your asking yourself... "Why in the world am I wasting my time, talking to some god who I barely believe is real any way?" Nothing seems to get better.
My new hero is a 24 year old man named Nick Vujicic, he was born with no limbs. And he goes around the world speaking sometimes six times a day telling people: "God will pull you through!, you think I have the worst condition? The worst condition I ever had was fear."
The man is stunning, and I hope to meet him someday and give him a hug. I think all of us always need a new perspective on suffering, and far beyond what we already know. For me its knowing that I have friends who will bring me books to read, when they have no idea I wanted a new book to read in the first place. Its a reminder that my best friend once brought me his entire music collection to listen to.
Its the red wristband that is on my wrist, that God is pulling me through and comforting and speaking and joining me in the hurt. And know matter what happens to me, life cannot kill my heart, my soul, my drive and desire.
I writer by the name of paul once spent a lot of time in prison, he was mocked, beat, spit on and cussed at... But yet... Yet he wrote letters to his friends. Letting them know about eternal things like love, grace and peace. He writes.
And I write in rooms illuminated by light, and even when life beats the living hell out of me. I know people are praying for me, that the darkness will not last. That some how some way, my God will bring something good from suffering.
Why do you choose to suffer?
Saturday, February 02, 2008
A Hero In All.
I snooped around in the current events of the news the past few days. I don't really watch the news or keep up with political issues, for the simple fact that news.. Only reports bad things that happen in our world, and political parties seem to have nothing better to do than always find a way to one up each other for personal gain.
I can just see people brewing up a response to that previous line. I know, I know. I should care about who steps foot in the White House.. What president decides to keep his pants up or not, who decides and governs what direction our country takes etc etc.
What bothers me though is our society places all responseability on one person. No human being is a machine, we all bleed the same color. When we see a area that is going without attention, we point the finger so quickly. And fail to ask ourselves how we can help better our world.
We complain about social activists such as Bono, for entering in the AIDS crisis. We see him as the legendary rock star of the band U2, however he isn't just sitting on his millions of dollars. He's putting it to good use. He actually believes that he can make a difference, and that's something that I tip my hat off to him for.
Imagine if we all believed and felt the same way... What really could happen?
A point that I keep coming back to, is that we only live on this earth once. We don't get to choose some of the twists and turns that happen in life, but we do get to choose how to handle them. Take a risk, write a book. Tell the world your story and thoughts regardless of what you believe about life and existence.
Go spend time at a "old folks" home or something.. But please lets all stop rolling our eyes every time someone tries to be the hero. Even if its just for one day. After all a hero is what we all need.
I can just see people brewing up a response to that previous line. I know, I know. I should care about who steps foot in the White House.. What president decides to keep his pants up or not, who decides and governs what direction our country takes etc etc.
What bothers me though is our society places all responseability on one person. No human being is a machine, we all bleed the same color. When we see a area that is going without attention, we point the finger so quickly. And fail to ask ourselves how we can help better our world.
We complain about social activists such as Bono, for entering in the AIDS crisis. We see him as the legendary rock star of the band U2, however he isn't just sitting on his millions of dollars. He's putting it to good use. He actually believes that he can make a difference, and that's something that I tip my hat off to him for.
Imagine if we all believed and felt the same way... What really could happen?
A point that I keep coming back to, is that we only live on this earth once. We don't get to choose some of the twists and turns that happen in life, but we do get to choose how to handle them. Take a risk, write a book. Tell the world your story and thoughts regardless of what you believe about life and existence.
Go spend time at a "old folks" home or something.. But please lets all stop rolling our eyes every time someone tries to be the hero. Even if its just for one day. After all a hero is what we all need.
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